Embrace the Negative!
- Bernadette Valentinetti
- Aug 13, 2018
- 2 min read
Soon I will be changing office locations and although it is a happy time, it is also stressful. Moving in and of itself is a huge stressor. This led me to research why we hate change and came across something completely different (often the results of googling anything-changing directions and getting distracted by other topics we feel compelled to explore). An article written by Tori Rodriguez for Scientific American explains various research studies that have proven suppressing negative emotion for the ideal of contentment and happiness actually causes a diminished sense of happiness and contentedness.
The concept is reflective of DBT (dialectical behavior therapy) theory. Accepting what is as painful, but knowing there is a positive outcome for all the hard work. An example would be knowing that you are going to explore some difficult experiences and uncomfortable emotions in therapy, but realizing that through the exploration and experience you will grow and become closer to what it is you want to be. Negative emotions can also be self-preservative in nature. Fear, anger, annoyance, sadness can all indicate something in our lives needs addressed. By ignoring the feelings, we are not listening to our survival instincts.
Nobody wants to feel the negative emotions. Everyone wants to be happy and positive. Even if we successfully avoid thinking about something that causes negative emotions (an experience at work, a family conflict, a poor exam result, ect.), our subconscious may intervene and we will think about the event through our dreams. The stress of avoiding thoughts about addiction could even lead to more thoughts or a stronger reaction to a trigger.
So feel those negative feelings, embrace them, and then realize that it is temporary and will lead to more contentedness and happiness than pretending they don’t exist, ignoring them, or medicating them. Use mindfulness and meditation to help alleviate the intense emotion, grounding strategies to help prevent avoidance of the feelings. Coping skills like journaling and talking about how you are feeling will help to shift perspective and manage stress effectively. Most of all, know that every feeling will pass, even the uncomfortable ones.
Information for this blog was obtained from the following website: